Friday, December 9, 2011


There are moments when we feel sad, happy, annoyed, and even elated.
But how often do you feel magical?
For me, it's not so often. And today I did feel that magical moment.

2 weeks ago, A patient came to the ER during my afternoon shift. He was brought by the family because of massive hematemesis or vomiting blood. He was so pale and his pulse was so weak I almost couldn't feel it. The family was crying. He's a chronic sufferer of a lethal lever disease called cirrhosis where the lever cells are fibrotic and don't function anymore. We have tried almost every attempt possible to stop the bleeding but it wouldn't last for long. I made the transfusion form immediately and even after he was stable and transferred to the room, only several hours later the nurse called reporting another episode of massive blood vomiting. So we double the intravenous line so that it was blood transfusion into right arm and resuscitation fluid into left arm. The hospital does not have facility for endoscopic vessel ligation so all we could do was try to stabilize the patient and later if possible, refer him to more capable hospital. But the amount of blood loss was too much and the blood pressure keep dropping. From what I saw he lost almost 2 liters of blood that time. At the end of the day I was really pessimistic about this patient, and I told the family to be prepared for the worst. The patient survived through my shift, and I went home that day being all so pessimist about him, feeling so pity and hoping the family will be strong when the worst happens. I was too sure he wouldn't survive anymore day.

Today, the patient came to the ER walking, smiling, bringing us food and saying thank you, apologizing for being such a "pain in the neck" that day, and said that he did not do it on purpose :') I was nothing but speechless. There he is, the same patient that I thought have already passed days ago, walking and smiling. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to hug GOD. I'm sorry for ever forgetting that despite all efforts humans make and all knowledge humans have, the decision is always up to GOD. Apparently He still want this patient to have some more time..

It was magical and I feel grateful to have the best job in the world that teach me so much life lesson and reminds me of how small we are, how little we can do, and how only God can make anything that seems impossible happens :)

p.s. Went to Bandung for my cousin's wed and finally visit Trans studio, the new theme park there, went there with lovely cousins, happy!


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