Friday, October 11, 2013

Confession Part 1

Hey blog... Long time no see, but I guess this is the place where I end up when I reach my lowest point. Sorry, blog... that's why you're rather gloomy and mellow-drama hehe but I tend to seek for relieve by writing here only or mostly when I get stuck, sad, or terribly bored. When I am happy (and don't get me wrong, that's most of the time, and I'm grateful for that) I rarely have the mood to blog. That's why I'm a bad blogger. But here I am. Gonna blabber a little bit :p 

Look, I don't mean to complain, I think God's been soo good to me. I know many people will switch place with where I am now. My daily life is going smooth, residency life's great, assignments on track, family's happy and healthy, business is great. But there's always this one point when you're not satisfied, and that's what makes us human, right?

I think I simply am bored.

These routines... waking up at 5. Getting ready early morning. Driving to hospital. Don't forget to check in in social medias. Morning report. Seeing sick faces with bloated stomach and yellow eyes. Educating them. (Trying to) Treat them. Argue with nurses and pharmacy. Spend rest of the day filling in medical records. Then once in every other day running after those consultants. Attending scientific presentations. One round after another in a never ending circuit for everyday from monday to friday. And then weekend come, the dreaded night (or morning) shifts come. And the circle starts all over again when Monday approaches. 

You need to be really strong to be a doctor, moreover a resident. But I think that's not it. That's not the root of my boredom right now. I'm passionate about what I'm doing. In between those sick faces I see thankful smile. In between those struggle to educate them, I heard respect. And in those yellow eyes I see trusting eyes. And the feeling of letting them go home feeling better, unbelievable. And to have the chance to run into them again in one of the hospital corridors while they come for follow-ups: proud. I really love my job. What's missing is I don't have anyone to share all this. I need a partner, a companion, a spice in my sugar. 

It's the longest time I've been single, ever since I started dating, hehe. And first months or so I was busy finding all the positive things of becoming single, I discover things I don't even know exist in me. I did what I never did while I have boyfriend. And I must say, I succeeded. I got motivated, because I'm one of those people who don't favour getting all tears. I tried all ways to make me comfortable being single, spend more times with friends and family, being in touch with old pals, and I succeeded, yes. It doesn't feel awkward anymore. I rarely find myself feeling lonely of stuck in sadness. But I think what's happening now is that the phase has passed, and I have built a quite tall and thick wall surrounding me. I unconsciously avoid to get intimate with any boy, and now I realize it has become  a habit. I kinda become a scumbag for others because I go on first dates without the second. And that, I can feel, annoys everybody surrounding me. Sorry my friends, my fams, to whom I've been asking opinion about this person and that, but then I have to let them down because I always end up with the same answer: he's not the one. I don't worry because I always think I can survive being single, and nothing's running after me. I'll take my time.

But I think now I've come to realize, I do need one. Boyfriend. Partner. Companion. Refreshment during weekends. Somebody to share everything about. Somebody to argue with. That's it. I'm ending my single time. (Hopefully) Soon...


Sunday, February 24, 2013


Just like the clouds my eyes will do the same if you walk away, everyday it will rain, rain, rain.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


Q: What is Parapluie?
A: It's the 'brand' of me and my sister's little homemade cupcakes business

Q: When did it started?
A: Somewhere around June-July of 2012

Q: What kind of cupcakes concept does Parapluie offer?
A: We offer tasty customizable cupcakes. And by tasty we really do mean tasty. Our cupcakes are moist-textured and created with the best ingredients we could find. We prioritize flavor above everything because after all, cupcakes are made to be eaten. Because we could hardly find nicely decorated cupcakes that taste good as well. We keep the decoration simple and elegant.

Q: What are the variants?
A: Until now we offer 4 kinds of cupcakes flavor: the red velvets (chocolate based with cream cheese topping), nutella (vanilla based with nutella filling), cookies and cream (vanilla based with cookies filling), and rainbow cupcakes (vanilla based with colorful cake and buttercream). The best selling: red velvets and nutella.

Q: How to order?
A: Simply text us in line: aninditadinda or rizkadramadhani, instamessage us @parapluie_cupcakes or text message to: 085852226009 or 08155003311 or BBM to 30c1e63f for fast response; we don't deliver on weekdays and best order 1 week before your due date, especially for the customized ones! 

Q: What's the price? 
A: Price started at Rp 75.000,00/box of 6 (standard topping); and Rp.125.000,00/box of 6 (customized topping-fondant toppers); we accept order of sixfold :) We accept cash or transfer payment. 

So far we got good feedback from our customers, though we carefully limit the amount of order we accept to maintain the quality. Hope you will be our next happy customer! Kindly have a look at our gallery here.

"Because life is uncertain, eat dessert first." -Ernestine Ulmer-

Sunday, February 17, 2013


She's smart, and pretty, and came from a wealthy family. She dances, she sings. She has this calming kind of personality. She's funny she's sweet, and she commits to her religion. She's the kind that either male and female will adore, and either young and old will love. The word perfect would be perfect to describe her. She had this one boyfriend for six continuous years. The one she loved so dearly. Everytime she spoke on the phone with him, her eyes lit. Each time she mentioned his name, her lips curved up a little bit. Her face glowed every morning after a sweet date with him the night before. There was only one problem that dragged her down from heaven. She's got no blessings from her mother to be with him.

The reasons always failed to satisfy her. They've tried anything to get her blessings, up to a point that they were both too exhausted, not to the relationship, not to each other, but to the state of trying and never succeeded. Six years of trying. They made a one shot final plan, he was coming to propose to her mother. And that was it, she went home to her hometown for this final shot, and all we could do was pray.

Two weeks later, at one fine morning. She told me this happy news I will never ever forget. "I'm getting married, Dinda.." And I immediately burst to tears, hugged her until she couldn't breath, I was so happy that they finally made it. It took me several speechless minutes until I finally able to speak,
"Congratulations! When? How?" Then she smiled and answer. "In six months, but not with him. I'm getting married to another man, this man (she mentioned a name)" and there goes my second jawdropped moment, even longer than the first one. I cried even harder than the first one. I knew the man she mentioned. He's this fat, funny, clumsy, bad-boy guy that's been chasing her this couple of months, the one she never even consider. The one we thought she'd never considered. The one that was being made fun of in class because of his nerve to even pronounce that he liked her. Because who was him, daring to have a heart to a girl so perfect that many of the so-called-better-guys approaching her had failed. But here he is. Going to be her husband very soon. 

Took me very long and hard talk with her to finally accept that fact. She said her heart was turned upside down in a flash. She said after her boyfriend finally proposed and her mother answered no with all apology, she finally realized that there probably were no reasons, that her mother simply does not feel him. And a mother's intuition is something she cannot ignore. Because mother is the God of the world, she said. Of all, her mother chose him. The big-fat-funny guy. And my dear friend, with all her heart, accepted him.

And the question is, does she love her soon-to-be-husband? I doubted it at first. How come someone moved on that fast? But after seeing them together for a while, the answer is yes. Yes, she loves him. Now the glow on her face and the slight upward curve on her lips are back. But for  a new person. One funny thing is that she remembered she had dreamed for this guy long before they met. I can't be happier for her. Her story made me believe, that Zing really exists. Your zing, my zing, our zings, might come in any way that people never expected. And yes, they will come :)

Saturday, February 2, 2013


I know, it's soo late to make this kinda post since it's February already... but hecticness has won over me that I hadn't got chance to make a proper update to this blog. But hey, it is mandatory for me to make an each year review, soo, here it is :)

2012, if I might give out an award, would be "The Roller Coaster". It started out smooth, got a little bit rocky, then got even rougher, then there came the silver lining that mend it all. A year full of lessons. Full of new things. And full of fun. Let's make a recap.

1. Ended internship in Situbondo
2. Finally chose to attend test for cardiology residency, after a long stretch of battle and argument between me and people around, but mostly a battle with myself :)
3. A break-up, unexpected one.
4. Bali escape with my girlfriends Nadia and Hastika, must say the holiday was kinda a distraction because we were expecting the announcement for residency test but it was still fun! and just what I needed then. Celeberate my 23rd birthday in Bali with the girls too.
5. The announcement, and alhamdulillah I was accepted together with Nadia and Tika. But one of my bestfriend didn't make it, and that kinda reduct my happiness :( But hey, God's got a better plan for you, bestie. I believe.
6. Took-up french class with sissy :)
7. Started a little cupcakes business with my sister, a thing we always dreamt. And surprisingly the customers response was awesome! we get orders constantly and they always love our cupcakes. We name it "Parapluie" which is a french word meaning "Umbrella". Because we started the business during rainy season, and because we thought the word was cute :)
You can find Parapluie on instagram: @parapluie_cupcakes 
8. Got new friends during MKDU which is the 1st semester of my 10 semester residency program. Meet 8 special girls that made my MKDU so fun and colorful, and call ourselves the Sisterhood :p We kinda all knew each other already but just got really close during MKDU and now I cannot imagine my life without them. Love you all, sissies!
9. Played in a band again, only this time at the keyboard :p The band's called Pascal, which is established already before I enter cardiology dept and consisted of cardiology residents. Glad to be part of them!
10. Welcoming new family members, 3 little kittens called Gembul, Polem and Putih, adding up the cats kingdom in our house :D There are total 5 of them now after we gave out Putih to a relative. They're what make the house never empty :)
11. Last but not least... Met someone that I though was perfect (for me), a brother, a friend, an inspiration, but as we got closer we didn't think it worked because of some future vision issue. So we decided we be brother and sister ;) But I thank him for teaching me a lot in such short time. And so.. that left me still single and available :p

Well, that was all I guess.. Sorry for photo-less post. But I hope we've got the point :p 2012 taught me a lot, how to lose, how to forgive, how to deal with different kinds of people, how to restrain and control myself. It taught me that dealing with people disappointment is waay harder than dealing with your own's. I learned how to put your madness and sadness into something good, and most importantly how to be a better me. Thanks Allah, for writing this script for me. Still waiting for the happy ending! :p